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Westchester Arc
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Mother/Daughter Duo Reach Out to Families
Ruthie and Bernadette, shown left, provide tips on helping students transition into the adult world.
Bernadette and Ruthie Carroll have embarked on a county-wide tour to educate and support families interested in pursuing shared residential opportunities.
On March 28, Bernadette, a Westchester Arc life planner, and Ruthie, a high school graduate who lives in a group home, talked with 25 teenagers at Ardsley High School. Students came prepared with questions, including “How often do you see your parents?” and “Do you have your own room?”
The most common question—“What do you do if you have a problem?”
“I ask my manager and I ask my assistant manager,” suggested Ruthie.
“This is something Ruthie has learned to do over the years,” adds Bernadette. “Learning how to rely on staff and ask for help is an important part of group living.”
Students eagerly listen to Ruthie as she describes her experiences living in a group residence.
The session dispelled stereotypes, quenched fears and helped students choose the right residential option.
“Initially, students seemed terrified with the notion of moving away from their families,” recalls Bernadette. “Meeting Ruthie took the fear out of that transition. Students really related to her. They learned that life in a group home meant making friends, participating in community activities and leading a full, independent life.”
Ardsley marks the third stop on the tour, with previous meetings held in Lakeland and White Plains.
“Bernadette and Ruthie are a great example of the way family outreach should be provided,” adds Ralph Szur, director of life planning.
For Ruthie, the speaking engagements represent a milestone.
“Most of her life, Ruthie has struggled with language issues,” explains Bernadette. “But now here she is, perfectly comfortable speaking with large audiences. And boy, does she get her point across! I am so proud of my daughter for always trying so hard to do her best.”
Bernadette also provides outreach to adult family members. With the support of Westchester Arc’s life planning center, she recently launched a networking group for families involved in residential planning. Twelve families learn how to apply for housing, share experiences and visit group homes, which helps them make more informed decisions.
“Parents and family members often have concerns similar to those of their loved ones. And let’s be real, it’s not easy letting go,” continues Bernadette. “Talking about your feelings with peers helps ease the tension. I don’t think I would have encouraged Ruthie to live in a group home if it hadn’t been for one of these groups.”
